Meet the woman who gave birth to her BROTHER and SISTER after becoming surrogate for her mum

The family arrangement might seem complicated, but mum Ellen insists they're "happy"

A mum who gave birth to her own brother and sister has opened up on her decision to carry her own mother's children.

Ellen Brown offered to become a surrogate parent for mum Jenny after it emerged she and her partner Tony couldn't have children of their own - and she has no regrets over the decision.

Speaking on ITV's This Morning, she said: "I just felt it was better to do it and keep it in the family rather than them have a stranger do it for them."

It means her biological children - twins Ruth and Alex - are now her siblings, although they call their adopted mother Jenny 'mum'.

It may sound confusing, but the family are used to their arrangement and insisted everyone is happy with the way things are.

Ruth explained: "This is reality for us, it's what we've grown up with. I think it's wonderful."

While some children could have been confused by such a situation, Ellen's other daughter Maddie revealed she was delighted to have siblings.

She added: "I always wanted more brothers and sisters, and I got both so it's better. I think what my mum did was a good thing."

When Eamonn Holmes noted that some people may comment on the family arrangement and see it as "weird", Ellen simply said they were all "happy", which is all that matters.

"We're happy," she replied. "Normality comes in many different forms."

Sources: http://www.mirror.co.uk/tv/tv-news/meet-woman-who-gave-birth-5491262

China to Crack Down on Surrogacy

China will launch another round of nationwide campaigns to crack down on illegal surrogacy, starting this month till the end of the year. China's National Health and Family Planning Commission, or NHFPC, made the announcement on Thursday.

The cross-department campaign will involve 12 government departments focusing on spotting and punishing medical personnel and intermediary agencies, that help perform surrogate pregnancy services.

Internet website, TV, radio and print media that carry surrogacy ads will also be cleansed. Authorities will also step up supervision over the sale and circulation of assisted reproductive technology, or ART, drugs and medical equipment.

Surrogacy is strictly banned in China, but the surrogacy business is still booming in the country as infertility rates keep rising with the years.

China issued provisions in 2001 to regulate the management of ART and sperm banks, strictly prohibiting any form of trade of sperm, ovum or embryo, or any form of surrogacy.

In 2013, China launched a similar campaign against ART abuse.

Surrogacy in other countries:

Australia: Any surrogacy for commercial purposes is banned, but surrogacy via charity groups or between friends would be allowed.

Europe: European countries like France, Switzerland, Germany, Spain, and Italy have strict legislations to ban surrogacy. UK allows surrogacy as a legitimate way of ART, but also bans surrogacy for commercial purposes. UK law defines the one who gives birth to the child as the mother, and the client couple could only acquire parents' identity via legal adoption procedure.

Japan: There is no explicit regulation to ban surrogacy, but surrogacy is not encouraged. However, many Japanese women go to overseas market to seek surrogacy, which often causes a series of troubles.

Sources: http://english.cri.cn/12394/2015/04/10/3381s873661.htm

Steps involved in Shipping Embryos to India

Are you considering shipping your precious embryos from your Country? I am sure that you have lot of queries and apprehensiond about it.

We shall help you at every step with the documentation required for Embryo shipment. Do read our website link for embryo shipment. In the past months we have done a couple of shipments from USA and about 6-8 more shipments are in the pipeline.

As per the ICMR guideline for embryo shipment the formats of different letters required are given be the ICMR.

On our website, we have fine-tuned the format for easy filling in. We have also created a checklist of do’s and don’ts table while filling out the forms. Once the set of documents are ready, we personally courier the set to the ICMR in New Delhi.

We follow up with the ICMR. What we have seen that the ICMR is usually very quick to respond via email with regards to what they have to say about the processing of the NOC or if any changes that they need in the documentation.

The earliest that we have received the NOC is in 3 weeks but depending on the documentation, the corrections and additional documents needed the timeline can change. As we have been doing this regularly, we are aware of the minute details that we need to take care.

Once we have the NOC, you can proceed with contacting the shipment agency. Some more paperwork involving the Import Export license, letters from IVF lab to the shipment company and you shall be able to finally ship your embryos to India.

The process for procuring embryo shipment can be a little time consuming however it has been quite streamlined and easy to follow compared to what it was in the beginning.

Arguably we are the only organization in India, who are regularly shipping embryos. We will help you at every step and ensure the process is as smooth as possible for your precious embryos to be shipped to India for Surrogacy cycle/IVF cycle.

7 Reasons Kim Kardashian Should Not Use A Surrogate

There are better ways to address infertility. Kim Kardashian should not use a surrogate to bear another child, and neither should you.

According to the latest reports from her family’s reality show, Kim Kardashian is having difficulties with conceiving her second child. Kardashian and husband Kanye West vehemently desire a sibling for their daughter, and have demonstrated there is nothing they would not do to have this sibling—which is where their example becomes worrisome. Surrogacy is increasingly promoted as a viable option for having a child.

Here are seven reasons why Kimye should not choose surrogacy, and neither should you.

1. Surrogacy Uses Dangerous Hormones
Gestational surrogacy, when a woman is implanted with an embryo composed of an egg that is not her own, requires copious amounts of hormones to prepare her body for carrying a baby. The surrogate must inject herself daily for weeks with Lupron—a drug known to cause depression and suicide.

There are no long-term studies regarding this drug despite such studies being prevalent in other medical procedures—probably because Lupron is a cash cow for the pharmaceutical industry and they’re afraid of losing their big money-maker for the sake of women’s health. Lupron is not approved by the Food and Drug Administration for use in infertility.

If women had access to the findings of these studies and could know its toxic effects, they wouldn’t use the drug. But tens of thousands of anecdotal stories telling of negative consequences from Lupron are popping up in online communities such as lupronvictimshub.com.

2. Childbirth Still Kills and Maims
Giving birth can be as intense as getting in a serious car crash. A lot of things can go wrong—and any woman giving birth deserves to be surrounded by people who love her, as opposed to strangers on a budget who view her body as a service vessel. Because this is a commercial transaction, commissioning parents can often see medical complications as annoying—even as bad customer service. Childbirth, while not nearly approaching the fatality rate prior to modern medical advancements, can still be fatal.

One woman interviewed for the documentary “Breeders, A Subclass of Women?” was enlisted by her brother and his partner to have their baby as a surrogate. Gail developed eclampsia, a potentially fatal affliction during a woman’s pregnancy that escalates the symptoms of preeclampsia—such as abdominal pain, rapid weight gain, vertigo, and blurry vision—and induces seizures and black outs. The risk of this condition is multiplied when a woman carries more than one child, which is common in surrogacy. When it was clear that Gail was developing complications, her brother’s partner was quoted as saying, “Let’s just abort and get some other stupid woman to have our baby.”

3. May Psychologically Traumatize The Surrogate’s Existing Children
Legally, a surrogate must have at least one child of her own. These children observe their mothers as they keep some babies and give others away. This can be confusing for young children—as there might not appear to be a logical explanation as to why their mother doesn’t give them away, too. Children, as we say, are the future. What will become of their psyche after they have witnessed this sort of transaction? We can only speculate, as research has not yet been done.

4. Weaker Bonds for Adults
Many studies demonstrate that biology is a major contributing factor to a parent’s ability to fully accept and care for a child. The commissioning mother may have serious hindrances in her ability to nurture a child that she did not carry or does not share genes with. She misses out on a cacophony of bonding hormones. Many testimonials exist telling a paradoxical tale: many commissioning parents get cold feet and refuse to take and accept surrogate children, even when they signed contracts and spent tens of thousands of dollars for their conception.

5. Broken Bonds for Children
There is a reason birthing staff immediately place a newborn in its mother’s arms following birth and keep him there, save for necessary tests and hygiene. The Primal Wound is the emotional wound inflicted when mother and child are separated at birth. Nancy Verrier first used this term to describe the void present in the wake of separation by adoption.

When the newborn is quite traumatically removed from its birth mother immediately following birth, it often damages the child’s psyche.
This wound, occurring before the child has begun to separate his own identity from that of the mother, is experienced not only as a loss of the mother, but as a loss of the self, that core being of oneself which is the center of goodness and wholeness. The child may be left with a sense that part of his self has disappeared, a feeling of incompleteness, a lack of wholeness: “Any injury to the basic goodness of Self interferes with healthy, phase-adequate ego development, resulting in premature ego development and a reluctance to trust others to ‘be there.’ Recent studies in brain development tell us that one’s environment and one’s perceptions of the environment influence the way in which the neurons of the brain connect.”

A surrogate child’s sense of security and safety may be jeopardized. When the newborn is quite traumatically removed from its birth mother immediately following birth, it often damages the child’s psyche, causing maladies such as depression, underdevelopment of the child’s sense of self, abandonment issues, and longing for stability. “[The child] is not abnormal, sick, or crazy. His feelings are an appropriate response to the most devastating experience one could ever have: the loss of the mother.”

6. We Shouldn’t Parcel Motherhood
It is dangerous to split motherhood into separate jobs on a production line: egg donor, surrogate, wet-nurse, care-giver (and now mitochondrial donor). Powerful people are working hard to change public opinion about what does or does not constitute a real mother. A woman who wants to carry a child and raise it but decides to use an egg donor proclaims genetics don’t make a mother, it’s who carries, gives birth, nurses, and raises the child who is the real mother. A woman who can not carry a child, but uses her own eggs plus a surrogate, may proclaim pregnancy and giving birth is not what makes a mother, it is the genetic connection that really matters. And a person who uses both an egg donor and surrogate may say neither genes nor pregnancy and labor make for a real parent. This equals mass confusion, and some tricky legal predicaments.

Cindy Close was shocked when, after risking her life in a complicated birth to twins, the hospital staff approached her saying, “I understand we have a surrogacy situation.” Close had used donor eggs paid for by a man she thought would be her co-parent, and was horrified when he attempted to “dupe” her out of motherhood. Some protest that if we just had better contracts and more legal involvement, these kinds of situations would not arise. But should we really let those with the best lawyers decide who is or is not a real mother?

7. Surrogacy Feeds a Social Cancer
Just as it might be in society’s best interest for those with money to invest in green energy versus oil, we suggest avoiding funding what is becoming a corrupt profit-driven industry that industrializes human reproduction at the expense of children’s well-being. Cases like Baby Gammy, Theresa Erickson, Mitsutoki Shigeta, and Newton/Truong demonstrate that serious cases of abuse and neglect do occur.

Theresa Erickson, a convicted felon and former surrogacy attorney, says third-party reproduction and the surrogacy industries in California are “a billion dollar industry” and “corrupt.” “I’m just the tip of the iceberg,” she said, in connection to the dozen babies she commissioned on her own accord, then sold for up to $180,000 each. In cases like Newton’s, where he created pornography and internationally marketed his very young son as a child prostitute—do we really think having a for-profit system brings out the best kind of people in service of children’s well-being?

Are there better players for good people to engage with for the ethical growth of their families?

Here’s Hope and Some Better Solutions
We would like to urge citizens and legislators to find solutions that actually cure infertility, keep motherhood whole, and serve children. Health-conscious entrepreneurs are finding such solutions right now. There is a growing community of “Fertility Awareness Method” users with products and apps like Kindara, TempDrop, and ClearBlue that help women pinpoint ovulation—that 48-hour window of every cycle where her egg drops and conception is possible—to maximize chances of pregnancy. And books like “Fertility, Cyles & Nutrition” can help women edit their diets—a common cause of anovulation. These methods are not being promoted as widely as they should because the profit margins on apps and books are not as lucrative as the $7,000 price tag of one round of invitro fertilization (IVF).

Because the Catholic Church teaches that IVF is a sin (where sin is defined as an act that is harmful to one’s body or harmful to one’s soul), faithful Catholic doctors have had a unique pressure to find cures to infertility while being forbidden to use IVF. They have thus invented something called NaPro Technology, which utilizes the same bio-marker method of Fertility Awareness to ask women to catalogue their daily temperatures and cervical fluid types to identify pathologies, and actually cure the underlying ailment. The results have been better success rates than IVF, and at much lower cost.

It is noble to want to grow one’s family—and a generous intent indeed for Kardashian to want to give North a sibling. Infertility is a terrible struggle, and a curse on communities. In remedying infertility, let’s be mindful of every body, psyche, and wallet that is affected when we say yes to commercializing human reproduction.

Sources: http://thefederalist.com/2015/04/01/7-reasons-kim-kardashian-should-not-use-a-surrogate/

The right of every child

Surrogacy became mainstream when, in the fourth season of the popular sitcom, “Friends,” the ever-spacey Phoebe became the surrogate mother of her brother's children in the episode titled “The one with the embryos.” The episode's writer noted that never before had this been seen on television — the story arc was considered “risky,” and writers were concerned that it was “too crazy ... where's the line with Phoebe?” It was a smash hit.

The narrative continued into the fifth season when, in the hundredth episode of the show, Phoebe gave birth to her own nephew and two nieces. The show depicted her struggling with letting the babies go, but ultimately the choice to gestate and birth her brother's kids was portrayed as a worthy self-sacrifice. Undoubtedly, this storyline helped to dispel much of any remaining natural opposition to the idea of carrying another person's babies.

It should come as no surprise then that some 17 years later, Yahoo is featuring a series celebrating the many ways families are formed today. One article in the series retells the story of Finnean Lee who was born into the world courtesy of the oldest woman in Illinois ever to give birth — his own grandmother.

A 2012 article headline was direct: “Woman Gives Birth to Own Grandson.” The more recent article explains the “painful and traumatic time” when Sara Connell and her husband Bill endured six failed IVF cycles, the stillbirth of twins and a miscarriage. This eventually led them to accept Connell’s mother's “extraordinary offer” to gestate and birth her own grandchild.

Anyone who has faced the cross of infertility, endured a miscarriage or suffered through a stillbirth knows firsthand the kind of suffering endured in these most difficult moments of life. Having recently borne one of these crosses, I know the value of compassion, support and prayers offered by loved ones and strangers alike. But I also know how vital it is to respond to the cross we bear in a way that is in accord with human nature, honors marriage and respects the rights and dignity of children.

The church is clear: Every child conceived is imago dei and is precious in God's sight. At the same time, the church rightly identifies specific methods of achieving pregnancy that are immoral and calls upon couples to reject these methods.

The church articulates doctrine about surrogacy most directly in “Donum Vitae,” a 1987 document that responds to contemporary questions about respecting the origin of human life and the dignity of procreation. Like in vitro fertilization, surrogacy is “contrary to the unity of marriage and to the dignity of the procreation of the human person.” Surrogacy allows another to enter into the marriage covenant — another woman, by plan, carries a husband's child. Though popular media has dampened it, there is a natural revulsion to such things as renting a womb, a stranger giving birth to a child that is not her own, and a grandmother giving birth to the children of her son-in-law. A child has a natural right to be conceived through an act of love, to be nurtured in the womb by his own mother and to be birthed by his own mother. Surrogacy offends this right.

For this reason, “Donum Vitae” emphasizes, “Surrogate motherhood represents an objective failure to meet the obligations of maternal love, of conjugal fidelity and of responsible motherhood; it offends the dignity of the right of the child to be conceived, carried in the womb, brought into the world and brought up by his own parents; it sets up to the detriment of families, a division between the physical, psychological and moral elements which constitute those families.”

While those who choose surrogacy undoubtedly act with the best of intentions, often in the face of great suffering, it does not change the objective truth that such an act is against human nature and divine law and thus cannot be a good act nor lead to the flourishing of those who choose it. In her article, Connell makes a strenuous effort to push away her own natural opposition by covering it with euphemisms and emotional language and does so by adopting phrases such as “act of generosity,” “empowering,” “liberated and empowered,” “normalized” and “something to celebrate.” But redescribing an act in glowing terms does not change its nature; it does not change what it is.

Surrogacy crosses a line that should not be breached because this method of “starting a family” fails to honor the marriage covenant and the right of every child to be brought into the world by his or her own mother through an act of love.

Sources: http://catholicherald.com/stories/Parents-The-right-of-every-child,28690

As Elle Macpherson joins a growing trend among older mothers, Antonia Hoyle meets a couple who achieved success with their very last attempt.

As a successful career woman in her thirties, the last thing on Caroline Griffiths's mind was motherhood. But after falling in love at the age of 42, the desire for a baby became overwhelming. Persuaded by her husband Nigel that she did want a family after all, the couple spent the next decade or so trying, and failing, to become parents, spending in the process some pounds 80,000 on fertility treatments.

Last year, still desperate for a baby, they decided to seek a surrogate: a woman willing to be implanted with a donated egg, fertilised by Nigel's sperm, and carry the pregnancy to term. In June, at the age of 57, Caroline finally got her baby. The longed-for child was delivered by caesarean section to a surrogate mother at a clinic in the Republic of Georgia, as the Griffiths waited anxiously in the ward next door. The little girl was whisked away to her "intended parents" before Ekaterine, the 32-year-old surrogate and herself a mother of two, had a chance to see her.

"I was devastated every time an attempt to have a baby failed, and my age was a shadow that hung over me," says Caroline. "But now we have Grace a horrible weight has been lifted off my shoulders."

Thirty years after Kim Cotton became Britain's first surrogate mother, the subject is rarely out of the news. Supermodel Elle Macpherson, already a mother of two, is reportedly set to have a third child at 51 via a surrogate, using her own previously frozen eggs. Actress Nicole Kidman, 47, had a daughter via a surrogate in 2010, and Sarah Jessica Parker, 50, had twins via a surrogate in 2009, conceived with her frozen eggs and her husband's sperm.

Sir Elton John, 68, and his husband David Furnish, 52, meanwhile, have two sons via a surrogate, whom clothes designers Dolce and Gabbana controversially described as "synthetic" earlier this month.

But it's not just celebrities who are making surrogacy fashionable. Recent figures from the Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service (Cafcass) show that record numbers of UK babies are being born to surrogate parents - 167 last year, up from 47 in 2007. Like the Griffiths, many couples go to countries where, unlike in the UK, commercial surrogacy is legal. Data released earlier this month show that in the past three years more than 1,000 hopeful couples have travelled to a total of 57 such countries.

The process is not without controversy. Last month Thailand banned commercial surrogacy for foreign couples following the case of Baby Gammy, the twin boy an Australian couple allegedly left with his Thai surrogate mother following a diagnosis of Down's syndrome. The Foreign Office warns couples about the lack of international regulation and the risk of commercial exploitation of surrogate mothers from poorer countries.

As in Caroline's case, surrogacy also provokes strong views about very late motherhood. "There is a doubt in my mind that Grace may be lacking an able-bodied and able-minded mother when she needs me as a teenager," she admits. "But at the moment I have lots of energy to look after her."

The couple, from London, met in February 2000 when Nigel, a chartered surveyor, was 31 and Caroline 42. "When I was younger it was difficult to have a successful career and children," says Caroline, who owns an HR company. "When I met Nigel I hoped it would happen naturally."

By the time Caroline was 45 and still not pregnant, she and Nigel decided to pursue IVF, although by this time Caroline could not use her own eggs.

"A woman has produced her best eggs by her early thirties and by 43 they are unlikely to work," explains Dr Susan Ingamells, a consultant in reproductive medicine at Wessex Fertility Centre in Southampton.

"It was upsetting," says Caroline. "But the consultant said that if I used a donor egg I could still become a mother."

Over the next decade the couple underwent nine cycles of IVF treatment, using Nigel's sperm and donor eggs, at private clinics in Australia, Spain, London and Turkey. Each attempt failed, leaving Caroline desolate. "After every cycle there was an incredible sense of emptiness," she recalls. At around pounds 5,000 per cycle of IVF, the process also proved costly.

By the time she was 55, Caroline finally accepted that she would need to use a surrogate if she wanted to become a mother. "I reconciled myself to the fact that carrying a child would have been unsafe," she says.

She and Nigel discovered that finding a surrogate in the UK could be difficult and protracted. "Although surrogacy in the UK isn't illegal, there is no contract you can enter into with the surrogate mother and no access to the agency services that are plentiful abroad," says Natalie Gamble, a surrogacy lawyer based in London. Surrogate mothers here can only receive expenses, as opposed to formal payment, for their services, and English law treats the surrogate as the legal mother until a parental order is signed. "If they decide they want to keep the baby there is nothing you can do," says Caroline. "We thought it better to go to a country where surrogacy was properly regulated and we could be surer of an end result."

Research led them to visit the New Life Clinic in Tbilisi, capital of Georgia, a popular destination for those seeking surrogates. She and Nigel were shown profiles of potential donors and surrogates to pick from. "Because the woman carrying the baby is not the biological mother there is less of a chance of her becoming emotionally attached," says Caroline. "We tried to choose donors who had fair skin and looked the most like me, although most of them were dark-skinned so in the end we just chose the prettiest."

The couple's pounds 21,000 "package" allowed them three attempts at impregnation with three different surrogates; nearly pounds 8,000 of this would eventually be paid to the successful surrogate mother. Their first attempt was in April 2013. "I didn't need to be there but flew out with Nigel for moral support," says Caroline. Three embryos, created from harvested donor eggs fertilised with Nigel's sperm, were transferred into the surrogate mother they had chosen. But two weeks after the couple had returned to Britain they received an email to tell them the attempt was unsuccessful.

Devastated, they chose a new egg donor and surrogate and flew out that July to repeat the process. Three embryos were transferred to their new surrogate, with three more frozen to be used later. When their second attempt failed, however, Caroline and Nigel nearly gave up hope. "We agreed to give it one final attempt with a different surrogate mother and the remaining embryos but didn't think it was going to happen," says Caroline. Nigel adds: "We accepted our journey had to stop somewhere."

The embryos were transferred to the third surrogate, Ekaterine, in October 2013. Two weeks later Caroline received an email to tell her that Ekaterine was pregnant. "Nigel and I were euphoric," she says. They were sent monthly reports on their baby's development and when Ekaterine was six months pregnant Nigel and Caroline flew out to meet her.

They learnt that her husband had injured himself and was unable to work, and she was unemployed. "This was her way of earning," says Caroline. "She didn't speak English, which made things difficult. But when we flew out again a couple of months later she was more relaxed."

As part of the clinic's policy, a date was fixed for Ekaterine to have an elective caesarean section at around 37 weeks.

"We flew out the day before and as Grace was delivered I lay down in a room next door and took off my top," says Caroline. "The midwife brought her straight in to me and put her on my chest. It was a wonderful feeling." But afterwards she felt bad about the caesarean section. "Ekaterine was in a lot of pain. She talked about how her milk had come in and she'd had to take drugs to stop it."

Ekaterine had no right to see the baby but Caroline felt she should. "It didn't seem right that she'd gone to all this trouble and couldn't see the baby she had carried," she says. "As I watched her hold Grace tenderly I felt like an impostor, as if I were taking her baby. I had to remind myself Grace wasn't hers because a donor egg had been used."

While Nigel had returned to London earlier, mother and baby flew home in early July, after travel documentation had been completed. The parental order from the Family Court in Britain that makes Caroline Grace's legal mother arrived last month. "It's difficult to stay in touch with Ekaterine because she doesn't have the internet, but we try," she says. "I gave her my gold necklace to thank her and she has a picture of Grace we gave her on her mantelpiece."

Caroline and Grace, meanwhile, have formed an unbreakable bond. "My age does worry me, and sometimes I look at Grace and feel sad that I couldn't carry her myself," says Caroline. "But I'm delighted we finally have a perfect healthy baby."

Surrogacy procedures explained
Egg donation

An egg donor is given daily injections of stimulating hormones to encourage the growth of more eggs for 10 days until she ovulates. During egg collection a needle is introduced through the back of her vaginal wall into her ovaries. The eggs are removed with a gentle suction pump and fertilised with sperm in a laboratory dish through in vitro fertilisation (IVF).

Egg freezing
A woman can freeze her eggs for later use. Eggs are removed in the same way as they are for egg donation. They are dehydrated before freezing and can be stored for up to 10 years in liquid nitrogen at minus 196 degrees centigrade. When the woman wants to have a baby the egg is thawed slowly before being warmed up again and injected with sperm to fertilise.

Traditional surrogacy

The surrogate mother acts as both the egg donor and the surrogate, so is also the biological mother. The biological father gives a sample of sperm that is transferred into the uterus of the surrogate with a process called intrauterine insemination (IUI) in the hope that fertilisation will take place naturally.

Gestational surrogacy

The embryo is created using the biological father's sperm and an egg donor through IVF, meaning the surrogate is not the biological mother. Resulting embryos are transferred into the surrogate mother's uterus with a plastic catheter using a process called uterine embryo transfer (UET) around three days after fertilisation.

Sources: http://www.nzherald.co.nz/lifestyle/news/article.cfm?c_id=6&objectid=11425822

Inside the Dark Realities of the International Surrogacy Industry

In the latest Vice for HBO documentary, Outsourcing Embryos, correspondent Gianna Toboni traveled to India to report on the booming #gestational-#surrogacy industry. Commissioning couples from the U.S. and Europe use Indian surrogacy agencies because they’re as much as six times cheaper than Western alternatives. Surrogacy companies claim to offer opportunities for women to escape poverty, promoting international surrogacy as a win-win for everyone involved.

But, Toboni and her team quickly expose the dark underside of an unregulated and dangerous industry. Women are routinely recruited from slums, made to sign contracts they can’t read, before spending a year living in a facility. Once the baby is born — via cesarean section so that doctors can maximize births per day — the surrogate is sent home, often without the full compensation she was promised. We spoke to Toboni about the lives of surrogate women, how the industry can improve, and the emerging black market for “extra” babies. 

Do you think the American and European commissioning couples that use these Indian surrogacy agencies really don’t know what’s going on?

There are cases where American couples feel a little strange about what is happening, and the ethics of it, but turn a blind eye because they don’t want to pay the higher rates in the States. Many couples don’t want to know what’s behind the scenes, they want their baby fast, and they want it done cheaply. At the same time, there are couples who have an ongoing relationship with the surrogate and are very involved in making sure she’s making a choice and not simply being exploited.

At one point you go undercover to explore the extremely cheap and rather questionable surrogacy organizations. I couldn’t tell if you were able to find these agencies because of your team’s investigative skills or if they’re regularly being used by American couples.

That’s something I was wondering initially myself. So when we got to these seedy agencies with poor practices, I’d say something like, “I’m a little bit nervous, do Americans use your organization?” And they said yes. There was one guy, who ended up in the episode, and not only did he say yes, but he pulled up their profiles on Facebook and showed us the babies that had been gestated by his surrogates. It wasn’t like they were just boasting about their business; they had social-media proof. If you’re an American, you want to pay a cheap price, unfortunately, and you can find these places. We just showed up at the door and knocked.

There’s such dramatic income disparities and power dynamics at play with international surrogacy. To me, it seems inherently problematic, but do you think there’s a way it could be done right?
I do think there’s a way to do it right. The Indian government just hasn’t passed regulations that would allow this to be a safe industry. More regulations and increased effort by couples would help. It’s the responsibility of the couple to really research and see what kind of pressure their surrogate is under. I asked one woman when she was on the delivery table about to give birth if she was ever afraid she could die during childbirth. She said, “Yeah, I know that’s a real possibility.” The surrogates understand what the situation is medically for them, but it doesn’t seem like the commissioning couples do. The medical facility is good and clean, but at the same time, these women are risking their lives.

Right now, the surrogacy industry is anything goes, which is really scary. There was legislation proposed in India in 2010, it just hasn’t been passed. We didn’t see anyone receive poor medical service at the clinics we were able to visit. At the same time, there’s no limit to how many embryos can be implanted. Doctors have been known to insert more than one or two embryos to increase the chances that the woman will get pregnant without losing time or money. The commissioning couple may only want one baby, so sometimes, when more than one baby is born, the couple isn’t told, even though it’s their genetic offspring. As you can see in the documentary, I was offered one of these babies from the black market.

Were you surprised by the black-market industry surrounding these “extra” babies?

I wasn’t surprised that it existed, but I was surprised by how easily we were able to find it. We did a lot of research and spoke to a number of experts before we went, and we’d heard rumors that there are extra babies and orphanages of white babies in India. We didn’t find any orphanages, but then, when a couple offered me a baby for sale over dinner, it was shocking.

Do you find it difficult to maintain the journalistic remove required to do a job like this?

That situation in particular, when I was undercover and offered that baby, was the most heartbreaking experience I’ve ever been a part of. It was terrifying how aggressively they were pushing this baby on us. They even offered to let us make a down payment so we could take it home in a few days. I’m sitting there thinking, I’m sure I could find someone to raise this baby. But it’s also highly illegal and you just can’t. Vice doesn’t require the colder, more removed affect we’ve come to expect from investigative work. You can sit there and say, “This is really fucked-up and I want to take this baby so it’s safe.” To not be able to authentically react to what I’m seeing would do a disservice to the content. I’m a journalist, but I’m a human being first.

One thing that often happens with these internationally reported stories is that journalists go in, do the investigative work, interview people on the ground, and then produce something that those people never see. Do you make an effort to show participants, like the surrogate women, the role they have in exposing this story?
For sure, when people give us their time and tell their story, which is often taking them away from their family or their work, it's important we show them the final product.

We definitely create links and in some cases export DVDs to people overseas. Not everyone has access to HBO.

Sources: http://nymag.com/thecut/2015/03/dark-side-of-international-surrogacy.html

Op-Ed: At Passover time, remember those struggling with infertility

I recently attended the bris of my friend’s son and it was the first such occasion at which I was not crying tears of sadness for myself. Two years ago I was at her older son’s bris, and I remember pretending my copious tears were of joy. In reality, all I could think was: How come everyone else gets to have the very thing that I want most?

It would take me three years, 10 doctors, nine rounds of in-vitro fertilization and four miscarriages to finally get and stay pregnant.

And there I was, in my second trimester of pregnancy, listening to my friend deliver a speech at her son’s bris, and all I can think was: What about everyone else who can’t have children? Even though I’m out of the precarious first trimester, when risk of a pregnancy loss is greatest, the pain of my long, winding fertility journey is still too raw for me to forget everyone I’ve left behind.

Every Passover we read the section of Exodus where the Torah reminds us to remember the convert, the orphan and the widow: “For you were strangers in the land of Egypt” (Exodus 22:20), it says, adding, “If you afflict him at all, and if he does cry out to Me, I will surely hear his cry.”

To the convert, orphan and widow, I’d add the fertility challenged.

There are 6.7 million of us in America, women with an impaired ability to get pregnant or carry a baby to term, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. And it’s high time the Jewish community pays more attention to those longing for a child. That is, women having trouble conceiving, women who have miscarriages or stillbirths, couples who have to shell out tens of thousands of dollars for fertility treatments, single people seeking to become parents, people going down the long and expensive road of adoption.

These people — we, for I include my husband and myself in this — need the community’s help. Yes, there are a number of local organizations such as the Jewish Free Loan Association, Making Miracle Babies Fund and Hasidah that have sprung up in recent years looking to provide financial aid or resources for infertile couples, but we need more. More money, yes, but also more emotional support. And awareness.

A woman wrote to me recently that she was diagnosed with cancer at age 35, so she had her eggs frozen before she underwent chemotherapy. Now, at 42, she is cancer-free but cannot carry a child, and cannot afford the $100,000 to hire a surrogate to carry it for her.

Surely there should be some central place where families in need of a surrogate could be connected with generous souls willing to do such a mitzvah, where Jewish couples who have gone through IVF can donate their leftover embryos to others trying to have a baby (a Jewish equivalent to the Christian organization Nightlight) or even donate eggs when they freeze their own. (Even though Jewish law is divided on whether a Jewish egg donor is preferable to a non-Jewish one, for those who want Jewish egg donors it can cost an extra $8,000.)

National Infertility Awareness Week begins April 19, and this year’s theme, fittingly, is “You Are Not Alone.”

When you go through infertility, IVF, miscarriage, egg freezing, surrogacy and adoption, you shouldn’t have to keep it a secret. This is the time when people need the most support, especially from their communities. As anyone for whom having a baby hasn’t come easy knows, a strong support system is key.

The Jewish community has taken on many crises: intermarriage, assimilation, young leadership engagement, etc. There are so many programs (and much funding) out there intending to retain people, keep them Jewishly engaged. In other words, Jewish continuity. But how can we have Jewish continuity if so many of us are having trouble having children?

One doesn’t have to donate a womb, an embryo or an egg to help out. The community can develop more programming for the fertility challenged, their friends and family, helping them share their stories, directing them to other resources, and in general helping them feel less alone.

Recently I received a letter from a pregnant woman telling me how she’d been so upset at her friends struggling with infertility because they’d distanced themselves from her, but after reading about my struggles, she better understood their pain. (Now they’re all mothers!)

Sometimes at joyous life-cycle celebrations — a bar mitzvah, a wedding, a bris — it can seem like everyone else’s life is proceeding according to plan: love, marriage, children, rinse and repeat.

A closer look may show a different picture. So let’s remember this Passover, as we recall the suffering of the past and the suffering of the present, the power of community to lessen the pain.

Sources: http://www.jta.org/2015/03/29/news-opinion/opinion/op-ed-at-passover-time-remember-those-struggling-with-infertility

Parents of Tasmania's first surrogate baby call for more support to navigate the system

A Devonport couple has become the first in Tasmania to use a surrogate to have a baby, but it is a dream that remains out of reach for many.

Two and a half years since altruistic surrogacy was legalised in Tasmania, Holly Gleeson and her partner are the only couple to navigate the complex legal framework to enable their first child to be born.

"I knew from a really young age that I wouldn't be able to carry my own baby and I always wanted a baby so it was our only option," Ms Gleeson said.

"She's genetically our child so we did the normal IVF procedure and just implanted the embryo into the surrogate instead of into myself and then once she was born we had to go through court to transfer all the parental rights and we've just completed that process."

None of Ms Gleeson's sisters met the criteria to be a surrogate so a family friend offered.

Under Tasmania's legislation the woman must be at least 25 years old and have already given birth.

A contract is entered into by both parties preventing money changing hands except to cover the medical expenses.

Both couples must also undergo specialised counselling.

But when Ms Gleeson and her partner were going through the process there were no professionals in Tasmania with experience in altruistic surrogacy.

"They knew nothing about it, so we were their guinea pigs," Ms Gleeson said.

The extra research required added significantly to the legal and counselling fees, while Medicare does not cover any of the medical treatment.

Ms Gleeson puts the total cost at $75,000.

"That does include 11 embryos, it took quite a few attempts to get her, we have actually tried outside of Australia before it was legal here," she said.

Having successfully completed the process the couple hope it will be easier for others to go through and experience the joy of their first baby being handed to them.

"After we've waited so long to get her it was absolutely amazing, was just pure joy, it was the most amazing experience."

Hope fades for other couples
Time is running out for Old Beach couple Juanita and Nigel Barrett.

"We really started trying about a year after we got married and we've just celebrated our 17th anniversary," Ms Barrett said.

After nine unsuccessful IVF transfers, the passage of the altruistic surrogacy legislation renewed their hope of one day starting a family.

"I've always wanted kids, ever since I was little, I just want to be a mum," she said.

But having already come close to losing their Old Beach home three times due to the cost of unsuccessful IVF treatment, the legal fees present an insurmountable hurdle.

"The only thing that's stopping us from doing it right this instant is the money," she said.

"We just don't have it."

Tasmanian Gay and Lesbian Rights Group spokesman Rodney Croome said the inclusion of same-sex couples in the legislation was a symbolic step forward for equal rights.

But none have pursued altruistic surrogacy.

"They have had problems with some of the hurdles they might face and also there's very little information available for couples like that about what's involved," he said.

Mr Croome called for more promotion of the option and questioned the requirements for surrogates to be aged at least 25 and have already given birth.

Sources: https://au.news.yahoo.com/world/a/26855675/parents-of-tasmanias-first-surrogate-baby-call-for-more-support-to-navigate-the-system/

Surrogate parenthood = exploitation of desperate women

Elle (“The Body”) Macpherson is expecting a baby, the tabloids tell us. The supermodel, who is currently married to a billionaire, is reportedly ready to expand her family.

But there’s a problem. Elle Macpherson is now 51 years old: beyond normal child-bearing age.

Ah, but with the help of modern medical technology—and plenty of money—such problems can readily be overcome. We’re told that Elle had some of her eggs frozen, years ago, so now she only needs a clinic to fertilize eggs with her husband’s sperm, a surrogate mother to carry her baby to term, and—did I mention?—lots of money to pay the bills.

Leave aside the inherent ugliness of the procedure by which a child is conceived in the sterile surroundings of a laboratory, rather than in a loving embrace. Let’s focus for now on what happens next: the surrogate pregnancy.

Elle Macpherson is rich, so she can afford a surrogate. Her fabulous figure won’t be distended; she won’t go through the morning sickness and the cramps and the sleepless nights and the anguish and danger of childbirth. Someone else will go through all that. And that woman, we can safely assume, is not rich.

Why would any woman voluntarily go through the rigors of someone else’s pregnancy, knowing that she could not expect the compensation of a child? Because she expected some other sort of compensation, obviously. When a woman rents out her body for the night we call it prostitution. When she rents it out for nine months, we call it surrogacy, and the tabloids treat the subject with the same blithe spirit that they use in telling us what celebrities wore to the latest garden party.

But then again, for the jet set this now is a topic that can be discussed with a blithe spirit. It’s so simple: Write a big check, bring home a healthy baby.

Not so for the surrogate mother. She is woman in need. She is willing to put her own life on hold, and put her health at risk, because she sees few other choices. I know nothing about the women who might be chosen as surrogates for Elle Macpherson. But I do know that as a rule, surrogate parenthood requires three things: money, doctors, and desperate women.

To accept surrogacy, then, means to accept the exploitation of desperate women. That’s something to bear in mind as we hear the ever-growing chorus of demands—by same-sex couples, older couples, and singles—for vindication of their “right” to have children.

Sources: http://www.catholicculture.org/commentary/the-city-gates.cfm?id=1019

Investing in You: A smart approach to using a surrogate

What can you expect, when your surrogate is expecting?

Prospective parents may be willing to pay any price. But first, examine the sensitive financial questions behind hiring a legal, legitimate surrogate (by legal, we mean not a woman you found online).

What does the process cost? Who gets paid? Can you take out a home equity loan or charge credit cards? (Yes to both). The costs of surrogacy are usually about $120,000, experts advise. But like any lifetime investment, such as college or retirement, you can pay in stages.

Legalities

Pennsylvania, oddly, is one of the most progressive states on the East Coast for legal surrogacy.

Washington and New York State don't allow it, and can legally prosecute prospective parents and a surrogate. New Jersey doesn't criminalize surrogacy, but lawyers say the state views it as "against public policy," so surrogate contracts won't hold up in court.

Pennsylvania, by contrast, is a haven. Philadelphia hosts a thriving industry in surrogacy for U.S. and European couples, both heterosexual and same sex, who come here to find a gestational carrier for their bundle of joy.

"Surrogacy is generally not covered by insurance," says Tiffany Palmer, whose Jerner & Palmer law firm focuses on assisted reproduction law. Palmer strongly advises against "do-it-yourself" surrogacy. She and other lawyers hear horror stories from couples who fork over tens of thousands of dollars to strangers who then disappear with the money.

"Surrogacy can be done ethically and correctly, and is not exploitative if done right," she says. "We work with women who have separate legal counsel, who are paid appropriately for their service, and who are not financially desperate and doing it of their own free will."

Agencies

Ask for a detailed estimate of all agency expenses during the contract. Compare agencies in your area. Understand if the price quoted includes your surrogate and a separate egg donor, along with legal fees, assisted reproduction fees and adoption costs (if required).

In vitro fertilization alone can cost $15,000 to $50,000 a cycle, depending on your area and medical factors. Then you pay your egg donor, which costs about $3,000 in Southern states, versus up to $15,000 in the Northeast, says Nicole Witt, executive director of the Adoption Consultancy in Brandon, Fla.

Philadelphia lawyer TJ Henderson lists expenses and fees on her website (surrogateservicesinternational.com), from $25,000 to $35,000 for the surrogate's fee to a post-birth adoption order for $2,500.

Add-ons: the fertility clinic, surrogate life insurance and health insurance. Inclusive of everything, expect to pay about $105,000, Henderson says.

Loans

Fertility clinics often partner with lenders, including American Healthcare Lending, Springstone Financing, or Med Loan Financing. These outfits give potential parents loans valued at $50,000 to $100,000 over a few years, with interest rates from under 1 percent to nearly 25 percent annually, depending on credit scores. Figure on payments of $500 a month or more.

That loan can cover the entire process. Mortgage refinancing, home equity loans and credit cards are very common forms of financing, as well as crowd-funding campaigns.

Egg donors

Some fertility clinics offer free egg preservation (a.k.a. "freezing your eggs") for young women who donate eggs three times.

Reproductive Associates of Delaware (www.radeggdonor.com) accepts women age 21 to 30 as anonymous egg donors, who then receive free annual exams up until age 31 plus pay of $8,000.

Visit the clearinghouse site www.FertilityAuthority.com or the more donor focused EggBanxx.com, which encourages young, professional women to consider egg freezing through a network of 116 fertility doctors across the country. EggBanxx.com board member Gina Bartasi says she supports Sheryl Sandberg's Lean In movement but adds, "Lean In, but Freeze First."

Another woman is paid as the legitimate surrogate, Henderson says. Her surrogates get $2,875 a month for eight consecutive months, and egg donors $7,000 to $10,000 per cycle.

"It's fair and reasonable compensation for the pain and suffering," she says. "And it's not taxable income. There's a perception that using a surrogate is only for celebs and wealthy people. Not at all. If it's planned carefully, anyone can do it. If your agent and attorney establish legal parentage, and it's not a ridiculous person you met online, you're protected."

Sources: http://www.philly.com/philly/entertainment/sunday/20150329_Investing_in_You__A_smart_approach_to_using_a_surrogate.html

Man wins surrogate maternity leave case

Durban - The government and private businesses will have to rethink their maternity leave policies after a groundbreaking judgment ruling that surrogate and adoptive parents, including those in same-sex partnerships, have a constitutional right to the same pay and leave benefits as women who give birth.

Attorney Irvin Lawrence, of the law firm ENSafrica, who handled the matter in Durban’s Labour Court, said Thursday’s ruling by Judge David Gush was “clearly a precedent”, and would prompt a review of the maternity conditions in the Basic Conditions of Employment Act which were premised on the concept that only woman were caregivers of children.

The judgment could also have cost implications for government and private companies.

For his client, a government information technology specialist who, with his same-sex union partner became a parent through surrogacy, it marks the end of a battle against discrimination.

The employee, from Pietermaritzburg, may not be named because children born through surrogacy may not be identified by law. Evidence was that he and his partner had married in May 2010 and entered into a court-approved surrogacy agreement. As a primary care-giver, he applied for four months’ paid maternity leave, as per his employer’s policy.

Initially he got a flat rejection. The employer argued the benefit applied to women and offered him four days’ family responsibility leave.

After submitting a further, more substantial application he was granted two months’ maternity leave.

The employer said the four-month policy was made up of three parts – a four-week pre-partum period to prepare for birth, a six-week post-partum period for physical recovery from birth and two months to focus on caring for the child.

Surrogate and adoptive parents could only have two months’ leave and this was not discriminatory because this was irrespective of the sex or sexual orientation of the employee, the employer said.

In his ruling, the judge said this approach ignored the fact maternity leave was an entitlement not linked solely to the health and welfare of the mother, but also in the best interests of the child. “Not to do so would be to ignore the Bill of Rights and the Children’s Act.”

In the matter before him the agreement provided for the newborn child to be immediately handed to the commissioning parents, the applicant had been present at the birth and he would perform the role of the birth mother.

“In these circumstances I can see no reason why he is not entitled to maternity leave equal to that of natural mothers. Our law recognises same-sex marriages and regulates the rights of parents who have entered into surrogacy agreements.

“It is clear the employer’s policy discriminates unfairly,” he said, directing that it recognise the status of same-sex parties and the rights of commissioning parents in a surrogacy agreement. He ordered that the employer pay the employee for the two months’ maternity leave he was not allowed to take but stopped short of awarding damages.

Surrogacy expert and attorney Tracey-Leigh Wessels said: “It heralds a new chapter for the myriad commissioning parents who are faced with restrictive employment contracts.

“I know a number of commissioning parents who have encountered similar problems as the applicant and it is good to know it is a thing of the past.”

In an interview with The Mercury on Thursday, the employee said he was “terribly excited” by the judgment.

“We have embraced what the new South Africa and democracy has given us. We were able to get married. We were able to have our own child through the legal system. This was the last step that needed to be addressed and now there is a precedent.

“That was the objective of the process. We wanted to make sure that others were treated fairly and equitably. Employees need to know where they stand.

“When this was happening to us, my main concern was for our unborn child. I just didn’t know whether or not I was going to spend a week at home or how long I was going to be allowed to take care of him.

“My employer dragged it out and my attorney had to intervene several times.

“I felt so disrespected. Something that was so important to me was not getting the attention it deserved. For me this court victory is for others so they don’t have to feel like I did.”

Sources: http://www.iol.co.za/news/crime-courts/man-wins-surrogate-maternity-leave-case-1.1837784#.VRkf_fyUfOw

Nate Berkus and Jeremiah Brent Welcome Baby Girl Via Surrogate

Nate Berkus, 43, and Jeremiah Brent, 29, are proud fathers to a bouncing baby girl. The "American Dream Builders" host and his husband broke the happy news on Facebook, announcing that they have welcomed a daughter via a surrogate mother.

"Jeremiah & I are thrilled to announce the arrival of our daughter, Poppy Brent-Berkus, born via surrogate on March 23, 2015. We are so excited to finally be a family of 3!" Berkus wrote. "As anyone with a newborn knows, we have our work cut out for us but couldn't be happier to be embarking on this life changing journey that is parenthood. Thank you all for your well wishes and support."

Berkus, an interior designer, and Brent, Rachel Zoe's former assistant, got engaged in 2013 at Machu Picchu in Peru. The couple married at the New York Public Library in May 2014 with Oprah Winfrey, Rachael Ray, and Busy Philipps among guests. They announced that they're going to be parents in September.

Sources: http://www.aceshowbiz.com/news/view/00081506.html

Gay dads' big break

Gay men who "have a baby" born by a surrogate mother are entitled to paid maternity leave.

In a ground-breaking judgment yesterday welcomed by couples in same-sex unions the Labour Court in Durban said it was discriminatory to refuse paid maternity leave to a gay man who became a parent through surrogacy.

The court ordered the applicant's employer, the State Information Technology Agency, to pay him for the two months' unpaid leave he took to care for his newborn baby.

The ruling, which has been welcomed by activist groups, would apply to heterosexual men as well.

Irvin Lawrence, who represented the male applicant, said the judgment would allow hetero sexual fathers who were the primary caregivers for their babies to argue that they were entitled to maternity leave.

This could be the case when a mother died during or shortly after childbirth and the father alone had to care for the baby.

Lawrence said the ruling might mean that the Basic Conditions of Employment Act will have to be amended to broaden the definition of maternity leave.

The father, whose identity cannot be revealed to protect the privacy of the child, challenged his employer's refusal to grant him four months' paid maternity leave on the grounds that he was not the child's biological mother.

The man married his partner in a civil union in 2010 and a year later the couple entered into an agreement with a woman to carry a baby for them.

In terms of the surrogacy agreement, which was made an order of court, the surrogate mother had to surrender the child to the couple at birth and she could have no further contact with the child.

In anticipation of the birth, the man applied to his employer for paid maternity leave of four months.

But the State Information Technology Agency refused on the grounds that its policies and the Basic Conditions of Employment Act made provision for maternity leave only for female employees and were silent on leave for people who became parents through surrogacy.

The agency offered the man "family responsibility" leave or special unpaid leave. Later, it said he could have two months of paid adoption leave and two months of unpaid leave.

The father said these terms constituted discrimination against gay men.

The agency denied its policy was discriminatory and said maternity leave was due to, and a right of, only female employees.

But Judge David Gush said the agency's contention ignored the fact that the right to maternity leave cited in the Basic Conditions of Employment Act was not linked solely to the welfare of the child's mother but took into account the interests of the child.

The man told the court that he and his spouse had agreed that he would assume the role of mother by taking immediate responsibility for the child after birth.

"Given these circumstances there is no reason why an employee in the position of the applicant should not be entitled to maternity leave and, equally, no reason why such maternity leave should not be for the same duration as the maternity leave to which a natural mother is entitled," Gush said.

The judge ordered the State Information Technology Agency to recognise the status of parties to a civil union and prohibited discrimination against couples who had become parents by entering into a surrogacy agreement.

OUT, a lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender rights group, said the judgment was "really positive".

"This is a breakthrough for future cases and for LGBT rights. It means that they can enjoy equal rights," said Johan Meyer, a health manager at OUT.

Couples in the UK who become parents through surrogacy will soon have the same rights as biological mothers and adoptive parents , according to the website of LGBT rights organisation Stonewall.
These couples currently do not have the right to paid maternity, paternity or adoption leave but a new system comes into effect on April 5.

From then on, parents through surrogacy will also be entitled to 52 weeks of parental leave, which can be shared between the two parents, with 90% of their pay.

The European Court of Justice last year ruled that women who have babies born through surrogacy are not entitled to maternity leave.

In Sweden and Germany, two of the countries giving the most wide-ranging rights to new parents, surrogacy is not permitted.

In the US, surrogacy laws vary from state to state. There is no general right to parental leave for couples who become parents through surrogacy.

Sources: http://www.timeslive.co.za/thetimes/2015/03/27/gay-dads-big-break

Uma: Could you carry someone else’s baby?

Every Friday in tabloid!, TV personality Uma Ghosh Deshpande seeks out new horizons and highlights some of the UAE’s most inspiring stories

Are you benevolent enough to carry someone else’s baby? Or compassionate enough to have someone carry yours? Fertility has always been viewed as the woman’s problem. But times are changing and society is slowly accepting that a problem can lie with either partner.

Dr Gautam Allahbadia, medical director of New Hope IVF, tells me: “One in five couples globally have difficulty in conceiving a baby, and the number of couples seeking medical help to have a family has risen dramatically”. Our lifestyle, stress levels and diet all play a role in couples not being able to have a baby. “More women work than ever before, and increasing numbers choose to delay starting a family until established in their careers. This makes fertility problems more likely. Advances in medical treatments mean it is technically possible for many more couples with fertility problems than ever before to conceive a baby,” he adds.

Over the last few years, surrogacy has become a viable option, with celebrities including Nicole Kidman, Sarah Jessica Parker and Shah Rukh Khan using surrogates to complete their families. Yet, surrogacy remains one of the least talked-about tools in the struggle with infertility.

My dear friend Leena Surri, who had beautiful twin girls through surrogacy, said: “It is a great option for people who can’t have children. You have to go through the initial procedure of IVF where you are injected with hormones and then when the eggs are ready, they are extracted from the mother’s ovaries and fertilised outside the embryos. They are then put into the womb of the surrogate mother. It was very smooth for us.”

However, a recent controversy involving international designer duo Dolce and Gabbana, where one of them used the terms “chemical children” and “synthetic babies” sparked a debate in my mind. Celebrities took to social media to express their displeasure at the comment. And I was pleasantly surprised at the support. People from across the world raised their voices in protest at the comment, but the one which touched my heart the most was Madonna’s. She wrote, “All babies contain a soul however they come to this earth and their families. There is nothing synthetic about a soul! So how can we dismiss IVF and surrogacy?”

There are a lot of people in this world who want to be parents, and today, technology can make it happen, whether through IVF or surrogacy. Many years back, people who could not have children would have to come to terms with it and move on. Today, there is an answer. And I hope more people open up to it. If you really want to experience the joys of parenthood, the little soul will find its way to you — either through your womb, or someone else’s.

Sources: http://gulfnews.com/culture/people/uma-could-you-carry-someone-else-s-baby-1.1479498

Thai surrogacy: Ambassador defends decision to grant citizenship to babies born by surrogate

Australia's ambassador to Thailand has defended his embassy's decision to continue granting citizenship and passports to babies born via surrogacy.

Thailand passed legislation earlier this year to ban commercial surrogacy, although it still needs royal approval.

Nationals whip George Christensen has criticised the embassy for granting passports when Thailand is trying to ban the practice.

But ambassador Paul Robilliard said Australian law makes clear if a baby is a descendent of an Australian a passport must be granted.

"We have had good cooperation between the embassy and all Thai agencies on this very difficult issue of surrogacy," Mr Robilliard said.

"If a baby is shown to be a descendant of an Australian citizen then by law they become an Australian citizen and then become eligible for an Australian passport."

A Parliamentary committee, headed by Mr Christensen, has recommended an inquiry into domestic and international surrogacy.

Last month, Thailand's interim parliament passed a law banning foreigners from seeking surrogacy services.

The law passed with 160-2 votes in favour of banning commercial surrogacy in the country, which means only a relative can act as a surrogate mother.

Under the new laws, foreigners will be prohibited to use Thai surrogates unless they have been married to a Thai national for at least three years.

Thailand's status as a top destination for fertility tourism came under scrutiny last year after an Australian couple's baby with Down syndrome was left behind while his healthy twin sister was taken home.

Another case involved a Japanese man who fathered at least 15 babies using Thai surrogates in what local media called the "baby factory".

Sources: http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-03-26/thailand-surrogacy-embassy-grants-citizenship-passports/6349020

“The Good Wife” offers a fair representation of the case for life

My wife and I were, for a season or two, big fans of CBS’s “The Good Wife.” However the plot grew so redundant and unimaginative, we turned elsewhere.

But according to Newsbusters’ Kate Yoder, on March 22 we missed a program which “dared to present pro-life arguments in a rational, respectful way.”

Even though members of the cast have history of pro-abortion advocacy, this is not a first, first for “The Good Wife.” Lauren Enriquez  did a masterful job looking at an episode a couple of seasons back about abortion and surrogate parenthood.

The baby the surrogate mother is carrying is diagnosed with Trisomy 13, a chromosomal disorder, and the biological parents insist that an abortion is required per the established terms of their surrogacy agreement. The surrogate flatly refuses. There were plenty of clichés and cheap shots, but the side of life was well represented.

According to Yoder, the March 22 exchange is intelligent and asks good questions. You can see a clip at the Newsbusters site, so let me make a couple of specific and a couple of general statements.

First, the female character Diane Lockhart (Christine Baranski) is the boss of the lead character Alicia Florrick (Julianna Margulies). The setting is a hunting retreat in Wyoming. Diane gets into an extending conversation with a man identified only as R.D. which spins off into abortion.

Diane offers the standard triad of pro-abortion retorts but does so in a respectful, collegial way: have you ever seen a woman dead from a back alley abortion? are you saying abortion is murder?; are you going to put women in jail? The only item not pulled out of the rhetorical chest is rape and incest. (I forgot. She also says the Court has upheld the right to abortion since 1973 –Roe v. Wade– to which R.D. responds once upon a time the High Court also upheld Dred Scott.)

R.D. (played by the always entertaining Oliver Platt) refuses to bite or retreat. He begins by asking why a five-month-old fetus is “not a baby?” He talks about the survival rates of babies (fetuses) at five and six months—the same time any woman in America can abort the child.

He keeps saying, in effect, don’t avert your gaze. Look at those whose lives you are taking. And then there’s this:

“Don’t look away from the aborted fetus. Look at it. Why is it not a baby?” he asks.“And why are we kitsch-ifying these babies, and turning ‘em into these cute little Raphael cherubs, and at the same time we’re aborting 1.2 million of them a year?”

When Diane drops into the worst of the worst pro-abortion canards R.D. tells her (in a respectful way) that’s “beneath you.”

Sources: http://www.nationalrighttolifenews.org/news/2015/03/the-good-wife-offers-a-fair-representation-of-the-case-for-life/#.VRjqePyUfOw

I want my children to feel equal, but equality isn't sameness

"You are born to a mother and a father — or at least that's how it should be," the clothing designer Domenico Dolce recently said, stirring up a bit of controversy. "I call children of chemistry 'synthetic children'. Rented uterus, semen chosen from a catalog."

Synthetic children? Ouch. My first reaction was to extend an invitation to Signores Dolce and Gabbana to come over and babysit my little cyborgs for a few hours, so that they could experience first-hand their screaming, their whining, and all of their "artificial" bodily fluids.

But it's easy to be angry, and I don't want us, in our rejection of these hurtful statements, to shut down an important conversation. While singular in their disdain, Dolce and Gabbana express an unease that many of us, gay and straight, have around third-party reproduction. Is it ethical to pay a donor or a surrogate? Should a donor be able to remain forever anonymous?

As a lesbian parent, of course I want my children to feel that they are as equal and deserving as anyone else. Equality isn't sameness, though, and I need there to be space for us to discuss the ways that our family is fundamentally different, and how our reproductive choices impact the lives of others.

I don't think it's wrong for gay men (or anyone else) to have children via egg donor and surrogate, but we mustn't fail to expand the conversation beyond them and their right to pursue parenthood. The egg donor has the right to choose what to do with her oocytes, free from extreme financial pressure. The surrogate also has the right to choose freely if and when to use her womb. When the surrogate in question is an impoverished woman in another country, and the amount of money she's being offered could permanently house her entire family, it's difficult to argue that she has much of a choice.

And the sperm donor. My kids' donor. He, too, has a right to decide what happens to his cells. I don't know why he decided to donate. I do know that most of the donors in the catalog were actors, artists, musicians and/or students. I assumed that they were looking for supplemental income, not a way to feed themselves, and that no coercion was involved. Still, I am uneasy about the fact that money traded hands in order for my children's DNA to be complete.

I'm not alone. Many countries, like Australia and the UK, prohibit payment to gamete donors, and don't allow for entirely anonymous donation. Italy's law, which is particularly discriminatory, has just recently allowed for the use of donor sperm or eggs at all—for straight couples only. One unintended effect of these prohibitions is that those who can afford to do so look abroad for donors and surrogates, leading to exploitative situations like we're now seeing in India and Thailand. This also leads to a booming business in the U.S., where few restrictions are in place.

There's a line in the sand when it comes to reproductive technology, and it isn't IVF. It's a line that only some infertile couples choose to cross, but all of us who are queer must: involving a third (and sometimes, fourth) person into the act of reproduction. Whether it's birth parents, a gamete donor, or a gestational surrogate, no technology yet can make us parents in the absence of another person's body. These people become part of our families, if only as a spectral presence in our children's lives. I, for one, don't want my equality to rely on pretending they don't exist.

Sources: http://www.dailylife.com.au/news-and-views/dl-opinion/i-want-my-children-to-feel-equal-but-equality-isnt-sameness-20150325-1m7gfq.html

Feminists campaign for surrogacy to be considered slavery

Surrogacy is a form of slavery. This time it’s not groups of ultra conservatives who are saying this but, slightly surprisingly, several feminist associations in Europe. However, it seems less odd if one looks more closely at what exactly is being denounced in a proposal text at the United Nations for a ‘Convention for the abolition of surrogacy on the same model as the one for the abolition of slavery.’ Considering the timid approach of governments such as those in Belgium and France to the debate around the simplification of legal recognition of foreign surrogate mothers. However, women’s movements warn that, in many cases, the surrogate mother’s fundamental rights are totally trampled. This means there is a long way to go in the regulation of international surrogacy.

Sources: http://www.west-info.eu/feminists-campaign-for-surrogacy-to-be-considered-slavery/

Top judge warns Australians are middlemen in commercial surrogacy markets

ONE of the country’s top judges has sounded alarm that Australians are playing “highly questionable” roles as middlemen in Asian commercial surrogacy markets.

The warnings came as authorities confirmed Australian parents who travel overseas to commission underprivileged women as surrogates are still not required to undergo criminal background checks before they obtain passports for their babies.

Federal Circuit Court Chief Judge John Pascoe has appeared before a parliamentary committee in a private capacity to express his concerns about the continued operation of commercial surrogacy markets in developing countries.

Justice Pascoe said overseas baby markets were like the “Wild West” and we should find it “deeply disturbing that Australians are so heavily involved in what amounts to the production and sale of newly-born children”.

“My concern is the number of Australians involved in middlemen and often in activities that are highly questionable at the very least,” Justice Pascoe told the committee.
The judge singled out Thailand, which earlier this year passed laws all but shutting down the commercial surrogacy industry, as a country where Australians continue to advocate for commercial surrogacy arrangements.

“I am very concerned, and anecdotally I am told, that there are Australians very much involved in the surrogacy clinics,” he said.

“One of them is now both recruiting potential surrogate mothers and looking for commissioning parents in Australia and telling them, ‘Don’t worry about it; the law will change”.

The Social Policy and Legal Affairs Committee, which delivered its report to parliament yesterday, found that Australian parents are still not required to undergo criminal background checks before they obtain passports for their surrogate babies, despite the scandal that erupted over Thai-born baby Gammy who’s Australian father was a convicted paedophile.

An official from the Department of Immigration confirmed to the committee that when parents present themselves at an embassy overseas and apply for citizenship, “the provisions in the (Citizenship) Act do not have any scope for character checking of parents.”

The Committee has recommended Attorney-General George Brandis now establish a fully-fledged parliamentary probe into domestic and international surrogacy arrangements to determine whether regulations can be streamlined and tightened.

One in six Australian couples have issues relating to infertility and the committee heard evidence that Australians have become the largest client market for international surrogacy arrangements.

Sources: http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/health/top-judge-warns-australians-are-middlemen-in-commercial-surrogacy-markets/story-fneuz9ev-1227276975467

When is best time to tell kids of donor?

The age when young adults learn they were conceived using assisted reproductive technology does not influence their wellbeing or parental relationship, a study suggests.

Today almost four per cent of all children in Australia are born as a result of Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART), which includes IVF, surrogacy and using donor eggs or sperm.

"From the young people that we had in our study, the age that they found out didn't seem to have a long-term impact on their relationships with their family or their wellbeing," says Dr Karin Hammarberg, from the Jean Hailes Research Unit at Monash University.

"This is reassuring for those who wish to share this information with their children but have not done so at a young age."

In the past, clinics advised parents not to tell their offspring they were donor conceived, she says.

But now parents are encouraged to tell children when they are young.

"IVF today is so mainstream so no one would hesitate to say they've had a baby through IVF technology.

"But it's still a bit more difficult for those who have used donor gametes.

"Telling kids about the way they were conceived is always a good thing."

Dr Hammarberg conducted a study on the topic, together with researchers from the Murdoch Childrens Research Institute.

The team interviewed 550 young adults who were born as a result of ART.

They asked the participants at what age they were told and questioned them about their wellbeing and quality of relationship with their parents.

Most (77 per cent) had been told before the age of 12, 18 per cent when they were between 12 and 17 years and five per cent when they were over 18 years.

All through her childhood, Marnie Lester-Smith knew she was not biologically related to her dad.

Unlike some kids who were conceived by donated sperm or egg there was no "big family secret" revealed when she reached adulthood.

Lester-Smith, 21, was around five when she learned her parents had sought help from an anonymous sperm donor after losing three children to a rare genetic disease.

"I don't have any negative emotion when I think back," she says.

"Mum and I have always had great communication and no secrets."

Lester-Smith is thankful that she found out when she was young.

"If you're told later on you might feel betrayed, or like everything you knew is wrong," she says.

"I never had that, it was never anything negative to me, I'm very thankful someone was able to help my parents have a child."

Lester-Smith is determined to find her biological father, despite the obstacles.

"You can't really form your own identity unless you know where you come from.

"I know he was Indian, six foot and studying medicine at a Perth university."

But the doctor that organised the donation has since passed away and his records weren't preserved.

"I've joined the voluntary register in WA and if a half sibling or my donor registers on that there will be a match.

"I'm still holding out hope."

Sources: http://www.9news.com.au/health/2015/03/24/15/57/when-is-best-time-to-tell-kids-of-donor

Australian Embassy ignores Thai ban on ‘wombs for rent

Australian embassy staff are ­undermining Thailand’s surrogacy ban by granting passports to “wombs-for-rent” babies, a parliamentary committee said yesterday.

Childless Australian couples were exploiting third-world ­surrogate mothers, it warned.

The bipartisan House of ­Representatives Standing Committee on Social Policy and Legal Affairs called on the Abbott government to set up a full inquiry into commercial surrogacy.

The committee’s chairman, Nationals whip George Christensen, said Australian embassy staff in Thailand continued to issue passports for surrogate ­babies “without thinking twice’’.

“In Thailand, where surrogacy is outlawed, when our authorities receive an application for a child they know full well was born through surrogacy ­arrangements, they will still issue citizenship and passports without thinking twice,’’ he told The Australian yesterday.

“The only thing they require is a sign-off from the biological mother.’’

Mr Christensen said he was concerned surrogate mothers could be pressured into giving consent for an Australian passport in order to receive payment.

“I would think it’s a good starting point to say that if (surrogacy) is illegal in another country, perhaps there are mechanisms to ensure Australians aren’t involved and if they are, that the other jurisdiction is notified,’’ he said.

“If they’ve taken steps for banning it in Thailand, then Australia shouldn’t be facilitating it.

“If it’s a crime, it’s a crime.’’

Thailand banned commercial surrogacy last year after the scandal involving baby Gammy, whose Australian parents abandoned him in Thailand with his surrogate mother after he was born with Down syndrome.

Mr Christensen said the committee’s “roundtable’’ meetings — which included officials from the Department of Foreign ­Affairs and Trade and the Immigration Department, Family Court Chief Justice Diana ­Bryant and Federal Circuit Court Chief Judge John Pascoe — had concluded women and babies were being exploited through commercial surrogacy overseas.

“I have no doubt whatsoever there is exploitation of women in foreign jurisdictions happening through Australians who are seeking surrogacy arrangements to have a child,’’ he said.

Judge Pascoe told a roundtable session that surrogate women overseas were treated as “less than the value of cows being impregnated for the purposes of calving’’.

“I think it should be deeply disturbing that Australians are so heavily involved in what amounts to the production and sale of newly born children,’’ he told the committee.

Immigration Department ­assistant secretary Frances ­Finney told the hearing that if a child was an Australian citizen by descent, embassy officials had to grant citizenship.

Sources: http://www.theaustralian.com.au/national-affairs/foreign-affairs/australian-embassy-ignores-thai-ban-on-wombs-for-rent/story-fn59nm2j-1227277116832

Surrogate Motherhood Equal To Adultery Says Turkish Religious Council

Turkey's religious council, the Diyanet, has made headlines again this week with its description of surrogate mother hood that compares it to adultery. This statement may seem extreme to those not familiar with Islam's strict religious beliefs, and in fact, some moderate Muslims find it to be a bit harsh.

According to the Hurriyet Daily News, the religious leaders said in a statement that, "An in vitro fertilization (IVF) process that starts and finalizes between individuals who are not de facto married is religiously not acceptable as it offends humane feelings and contains elements of adultery."

In vitro fertilization, or IVF, is a process that involves injecting an egg from a female donor with sperm from a male donor, then having the fertilized egg placed inside a female carrier. Sometimes the carrier is the original egg donor, and in some cases a surrogate carrier is used. While the Diyanet is not opposed to IVF within the bonds of marriage, surrogacy is taboo to the religious leaders.

The NZ Herald reports that the Diyanet was formed to help make decisions regarding religious matters. The first record of the Diyanet is in 1924, and while it is the standing authority on all things religious, Turkey is a secular nation. This means that all decisions made by the council are suggestions to Islamic believers and not considered to be mandatory laws.

The religious council is already under fire from different groups around the world for statement regarding issues like gay adoption. Sir Elton John has led the charge in a similar campaign against French designers Dolce and Gabbana for describing children born through IVF as "synthetic" babies. This touched off a whirlwind of people who vowed to boycott the designers following their remarks.

What do you think? Is surrogacy a bad idea, or is it a perfect means for couples who could not have children without a surrogate to be able to experience the joys of parenthood? Tell us what you think in the comments below!

Sources: http://www.sciencetimes.com/articles/4714/20150324/surrogate-motherhood-equal-to-adultery-says-turkish-religious-council.htm

Committee raises vexed surrogacy issues

Does a child born of surrogacy have a right to know their biological parents?

And can the government do anything to prevent a Baby Gammy-like situation in the future?

Those are just two of the issues raised by a parliamentary committee hoping to seek clarity through a broader inquiry into local and overseas surrogacy arrangements.

The House of Representatives committee wants to examine the hurdles faced by all parties in domestic surrogacy, including medical and welfare guidelines and compensatory payments.

It's also concerned Australians are using surrogacy arrangements in countries with few regulatory and health standards and providing little protection to surrogate mothers and children.

The issue of surrogacy was highlighted last year after a West Australian couple were accused of leaving a twin boy, known as Baby Gammy, with his surrogate mother after they discovered he had Down Syndrome.

FACTS

* One in six couples have infertility issues.

* Australians are believed to be the largest client market for international surrogacy arrangements.

Sources: http://www.9news.com.au/national/2015/03/24/13/58/committee-raises-vexed-surrogacy-issues

HRC Submits Testimony in Support of New Jersey Surrogacy Bill

Last week, HRC submitted testimony supporting the New Jersey Gestational Carrier Agreement Act (SB 866/AB 2648), a measure that will allow New Jersey residents to enter into gestational surrogacy agreements and establish appropriate parentage of the intended parents. A hearing on the bill was help by the Assembly Human Services Committee on March 19, and after the hearing the committee successfully passed the bill. It has already passed the New Jersey Senate.

“Allowing for surrogacy is especially important to members of the LGBT community as a method to establish parentage and create a family,” HRC Senior Legislative Counsel Alison Gill testified. “Unlike some other methods of family creation, surrogacy may allow such couples to have a genetic relation to their children.” HRC's testimony was endorsed and supported by Garden State Equality.

“Without this legislation, intended parents and gestational surrogates will continue having children through these arrangements but without legal protections or they will be forced to move to other states that afford them more security,” said Assemblywoman Valerie Vainieri Huttle, D-Englewood, in a statement.

HRC urges the NJ Assembly to swiftly take up and pass this important legislation to help protect LGBT families.

Sources: http://www.hrc.org/blog/entry/hrc-submits-testimony-in-support-of-new-jersey-surrogacy-bill

The gift of life: Sister donates egg and surrogate gives birth

Kate Dobb has been given the gift of two beautiful twin babies – thanks to a donated egg from her sister and a surrogate mother.

It is a happy ending to a story that started when she fell seriously ill with cancer at the age of just 10.

Kate, 37, was told she would not be able to have children because of the severity of her treatment for a rare sarcoma.

Now she has her husband Nisar Afsar are busy caring for their one-year old twins, Rafi and Amina.

They today spoke of the emotional journey that has enabled them to be parents.

The story starts when Kate, originally from Church Stretton but now living in Cheshire, fell ill as a child.

While being treated at Birmingham Children’s Hospital and Royal Shrewsbury Hospital’s children’s ward she underwent chemotherapy, radiotherapy and surgery.

As Kate says, at the time there was only one thought, she said: “The aim was survival.”

It was not long after that Kate was told she would not be able to have children, something that began hit home as she got older. It was then only in her 20s that she began to consider surrogacy as an option for starting a family.

She said: “I found out when I was 13 that I could not have children and it was not until I was in my 20s that I met a doctor at a different clinic who suggested the idea of surrogacy and egg donation.

“I always wanted to have children and I was very upset, but I felt my options were very limited. I didn’t realise how realistic egg donation surrogacy was.”

The first step on the road was when Kate’s younger sister, Jennie, 35, from Shrewsbury, offered to donate her eggs.

She explained that she had been more than happy to help her sister fulfil her dream of having children.

She said: “It is a nice thing to do but I do not see why I wouldn’t do it. I am quite pragmatic and my sister wanted a baby so why would I not want to help her?”

The next step was finding a woman who would be willing to act as a surrogate, and that is where Mikki Senior, 40, from Bomere Heath, comes in.

Kate and Nisar had joined a group called Surrogacy UK, where they met Mikki, who has three children of her own and had acted as a surrogate before, and her husband Dominic.

Kate said the organisation worked perfectly for them because it is based on friendship between the families, and forming a bond before embarking on the surrogacy process.

She said: “We joined and really liked the feeling of the organisation because it was based on friendship first - you build up a really strong relationship with the surrogate before you begin treatment.

“We wanted to be open with our children and for them to have a relationship with their surrogate.”

It just so happened that Mikki and Kate both had Shropshire in common, and it proved the basis for a friendship that would result in her agreeing to carry her children.

Kate said: “Through the organisation we were at an event and met Mikki, who was from Bomere Heath. We had the Shropshire link in common, got chatting about all things Shropshire and really hit it off. It turned out we would have been friends anyway. It took about three months to get to know each other really well before embarking on the treatment and she was pregnant first time with twins.”

All four parents were present for the birth and then stayed in the same room afterwards, so Mikki and her husband shared Kate and Nisar’s first moments with their children.

It’s the most obvious question, but when talking about giving birth and handing over Kate and Nisar’s children, Mikki said: “I was absolutely elated and it was like if you can imagine giving someone the best present they have ever had for Christmas, how wonderful is that? To see their faces holding their babies.

“It is a physical struggle but every one was absolutely worthwhile for that moment, let alone everything that has happened since. It is pretty special.”

Kate said that Mikki and her sister had given her the best gift possible.

She said: “We can’t ever thank her or my sister enough. Mikki says she is so happy to have her own children and she loves being a mum and her reason for being a surrogate was that she would be heartbroken if she could not have children herself.

“She is incredible. Such an amazing, strong person. We could not have wished for anyone better to carry our baby. It is absolutely incredible that someone would go through that for us.”

She added: “I pinch myself every day, I cannot believe it. It is a dream come true. I never expected to be a mum and to become a mum two two babies is absolutely fantastic. It is an incredible gift.

Mikki said she had decided to become a surrogate after witnessing the heartbreaking situation facing people who cannot have children.

She said: “I am so very lucky that I have my children and I feel really really lucky I have them. Both me and my husband are chiropractors and we have come across people who have had fertility problems and we know how heart wrenching it can be.”

Mikki also said she was proud of her family, and herself for being able to bring such joy to other people.

She said: “I am immensely proud, not only of what my family has helped me do, but what my body can do. I have had six children and I am proud we have been able to do something for them, because in the world of giving it does not much bigger than a child. I really feel like I have done something worthwhile with my life. Not only do I have my family but I have helped two other families have children too.”

She added: “It’s a huge thing to watch you wife carry someone else’s child.

“My husband is pretty special. He has been a big part of this but at Surrogacy UK they encourage partners to get involved. They have special surrogacy partner sessions to discuss what it can bring up and that is important.”

The two families are now firm friends, speak regularly on the telephone, and even go camping together.

Kate said: “The fantastic thing is we have built up such a great friendship with Mikki and her family that we have been camping together and we see each other every few weeks.”

Mikki added: “We fell in love with them. They are such lovely people.”

Both Kate and Mikki encouraged people interested in surrogacy to consider Surrogacy UK and to look around and explore the options.

Mikki said: “Look at different organisations and look at what you want out of this. Do you want to stay in touch? If you think they are coming for money then walk away, it is not about money. It is pretty much an altruistic thing you have in your mind that you want to do.

“It is it just about you , it is about your extended family, both partners, because it is a lot to go through. Think it through.”

Sources: http://www.shropshirestar.com/news/2015/03/23/the-gift-of-life-sister-donates-egg-and-surrogate-gives-birth/